Many people become “friends with benefits” to avoid the drama and to have sex without getting tied up in emotions; but the reality is that having a friend with benefits often becomes complicated. Why is that? Is there anything you can do to avoid these complexities?
The fact that men and women sometimes have different motivations and expectations when starting a Friends with Benefits relationship is certainly one source of complication.
They often become complicated for other reasons; a lack of communication both in and out of the bedroom.
Most people involved in this type of relationship fail to set basic rules. When it is not entirely clear what behaviour is acceptable and what isn’t. It becomes way too easy to unintentionally hurt your partner’s feelings.
They tend to engage in roughly the same types of sexual activities as people in more committed relationships.
The difference is the frequency of sex and the sexual satisfaction.
For the right type of person, this kind of interaction can be fun, rewarding and free. If both people aren’t on the same page, this arrangement may turn into a disaster.
How do I maintain a Friends with Benefits Relationship?
Pick someone who is available
Make sure your potential friend with benefits is single or not in a relationship. Not only should the person be single, but also, they shouldn’t be dealing with a devastating break-up, the loss of a loved one or so invested in their career that they rarely have the time for you.
This person should be fun, stable and up for anything!
Pick someone you already like
Now, I am not saying you should seek that cute boy or girl you’ve had a crush on since high school, unless that’s your sole intention. But go after someone that you already share a real connection with and enjoy being around.
Just make sure they aren’t someone you would normally date if you wish to stay single in the long run.
Natural chemistry is very important and will allow you to have more fun in the long run. Remember you not looking for someone to stay up all night with talking about life, but merely someone to rip your clothes off and release your sexual desires upon.
Keep it simple
What I mean exactly by “keep it simple” is; no going on dates, no inviting he/she to a family wedding or holiday parties, basically avoid anything that could cause feelings and attachment between the two of you.
Keep it strictly sexual.
You should see each other in the bedroom more than you do out at bars or parties. If you are both meeting up every other night, then it will only be a matter of time the exciting aspect will die out, and you will become bored with each another.
Limit your sexual interactions to once or twice a week to guarantee the spark and exhilaration each time you lay down together.
Never act desperate
The key to maintaining a friend with benefits is always remaining cool, calm and collective.
If you don’t receive a reply to your text at two a.m. or even a, “No, not tonight,” simply leave it at that and let them be.
Never beg or act desperate, it is very unattractive and signifies a potential emotional bond, which could turn away your partner completely.
Don’t talk about a future or “Us”
Never refer to the two of you as “us” or make future plans together. Remember that you are not in a relationship and are not bonded to each other by anything more than a sexual connection.
Don’t feel obligated to make plans with your partner regarding future engagements, such as a movie premier, an upcoming concert or the traveling circus in town.
As soon as you two are walking the streets together or sitting at a table for two with a candle and flower as the centerpiece, your friends with benefits relationship is about to either bloom into a real relationship or fall apart altogether due to unwanted feelings.
Keep it safe
The most important rule in all aspects of sexual interactions is safe sex. Whether it’s a one-night stand, a weekly meeting with your friend with benefits or even the 1,000th time for you and your significant other, safe sex is always the best kind of sex…at least in the long run.
Due to the unstable relationship between you and your Friend with benefits, who knows whom else they may be sleeping with.
Each time you have sex with them, you’re essentially having sex with every person they’ve slept with as well.
So, practicing safe sex can prevent any mishaps in the baby department, it can also help you avoid any STI’s that you’d otherwise have nothing to do with.